Crime Blotter

My hometown newspaper is available on the Internet, and once a week I find myself avidly perusing its crime blotter. No, I’m not a glutton for punishment. My reasons shall be made clear momentarily.

This week’s lead crime: “Man Kicks Dog.”

Followed by a story about four “subjects” who had dinner at a pancake house and left without paying.

Growing up, I thought my town was utterly boring. Now I know it is utterly boring, but there’s something comforting in that.

Granted, this is the same town that installed a traffic circle, and later had to place stop signs at every entrance because no one could figure out how to navigate around it. An American reading this will find the stop signs eminently reasonable. Tell any European and watch their reaction. Seriously. It’s great at parties in any European locale.