That's Just Not Cricket

Cricket is a Byzantine game. I now know that it is played on a pitch, and that the ball can be hit in any direction (i.e. 360 degrees), and that points are scored when the batsmen cross, and when the ball goes out of the park boundaries. But there’s a lot more to cricket than this, and despite J’s enthusiastic explanations, I just didn’t get it.

It was hot.

Pakistan is a top cricket country, and according to J., the players we watched were high quality. I took his word for it. J., an Aussie (“Australia: the top test cricket country in the world!”), was thrilled to pieces to be watching a game. I was just happy to be sitting on a lawn with a cool bottle of water in my hand.

Then a kid started pestering us. In Kabul I’m probably accosted by two-dozen beggars a day (Lahore was no different), and I’ve developed a hard shell when it comes to pleas, crocodile tears, and aggressive demands for cash. So we ignored the kid.

The boy turned surly, punishing our indifference by being as obnoxious as possible, loudly screeching in Urdu, and finally throwing pebbles at me. The Pakistani men watching the game began to shoot irritated glances our way. I didn’t like where this was going.

Much to my relief, an old man selling ice cream wandered over and engaged us in conversation. The kid didn’t dare hassle us with a Pakistani there, and I suspected the ice cream man was speaking to us for just that reason. I didn’t notice the gesture he made behind his back.

J. grabbed his backpack and leapt to his feet. “Okay, time to go,” he said, smiling and waving goodbyes to the ice cream man and the spectators, who called for us to enjoy Lahore and to have a nice day.

J. hustled me into the car park. “You couldn’t see it, but while the ice cream guy distracted you, his friends clunked the kid on the head. Then they ejected him from the grounds, which the little bastard deserved, but all it would take is for one person to object and ask who started it, and for the crowd to point at the two foreigners.”

What kind of karma do I get if people are beating up children on my behalf? The outlook is not good.