Victims and Villains

If Bombay, India, is "Bollywood," then its counterpart in Lahore is... wait for it...

"Lollywood."

I've been told Pakistani films don't measure up to their Indian counterparts, though I haven't seen enough to judge. I am, however, becoming somewhat of an authority on the local soap operas. I can't understand a word, but it doesn't matter because the actors are always replaying the same situations. I make up the dialog in my head anyway.

Cuckolded Wife: YOU??? And my HUSBAND?!
Cuckolded Wife's Best Friend: That's right! And your brother! And your cousin Akbar!
CW: Nooooooooooo!!!!

Pork is "haram" in Pakistan, but I've never seen so much hammy acting on TV. Dramatic pauses to rising music, a camera zoom on a shocked face, eyes widening with horror. Gasp! The plot lines and facial expressions are on par with the The Sheik, (one of the unintentionally funniest movies of all time), and I wonder if a local acting school was inspired by Rudolph Valentino.